Raney Beckner
Izayah....
I'm sorry you were hurting so bad. I cant imagine how bad you must have been hurting. I wish you were here. Im sorry you were so lost or sad or i'm not even sure what you were feeling. I want to know what was happening in your mind, behind that perfect face and beautiful eyes. I see this picture of you...youre so...beautiful. she makes beautiful children doesn't she? you look like her to me ya know. :) I wish you could just come back one more time and try just one more time. I cant say I begin to know what you were going through but im sorry you were hurting at all. I dont know anything. death is confusing. so is life..i mean...our bodies are alive and our minds controlling our every step...did you feel like maybe you'd lost control of your own mind? like it was just thinking and acting for you and your body was just along for the ride. i dont know Izayah! I wish i knew for you. youre to beautiful to be feeling how you were and theres no blame anywhere....I just....i hurt for you for the hurt you were dealing with and I just pray that "youre alright' if thats even how it can be said...so confusing...i miss you. I have ALWAYS missed you both and her. as I get older its like everything becomes more... clear...but more confusing,,,clear in the most confusing way...do you see us down here?????? If I could just grab you and hold on to you i wouldnt ever let you go . I wish we could talk but i hope you hear my prayers to you daily...i hope. Its like its hard to end this....If i could just talk to you , maybe i could talk u into just trying one more time i wish!! I know its hard out here but i have no clue how it was for you...
I miss you. i love you.